Visiting Death's Angel
by drean
Summary: Yuki visits Shuichi. Oneshot.


A/N: Normally, I put these at the end but who cares. First published in my deviantart so there is a second copy of this on the net so don't tell me I plagiarized or I will punch you in the face. JK. Kidoki, here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own any anime and that includes Gravi. I don't profit from writing fanfics so don't sue me.

Visiting Death's Angel

Eiri felt the sunlight pierce through his lids. It was now the morning sun that wakes him up. The air conditioner was turned off and the sun was shining brightly over his whole body, but somehow he still felt cold.

He finally opened his eyes then took a shower. He was visiting Shuichi today. The thought made him slow down a bit. He lit a cigarette and looked outside, it was raining. At least he was sure that Shuichi was dry. Shuichi no longer lived with him, he was currently living somewhere near his parent's house where cherry blossoms grew and surrounded his place. It had been a month and a half since he last saw Shuichi.

Eiri heard a knock on the door, which was somehow fine because the silence was deafening. He knew he wanted this kind of life, a quiet, peaceful life just by himself. Most of all, away from people who didn't deserve him, he was not worth anyone's love. And yet, despite all this, he also knew he was feeling empty inside.

He ignored the knocking for quite some time. He only wanted the noise, not the person. Tohma had been visiting him everyday since Shuichi went away, and today, he was going to give him another headache from all the talking.

Nevertheless he quickly dressed his slacks and opened the door. In came Tohma with his usual cheery smile.

"Who told you, you can see me?" asked Eiri rudely.

"I'm your brother-in-law, no one needs to tell me." answered Tohma.

Eiri huffed, closed the door, lit another cigarette and said that he would be going out today. He also mentioned never returning again. Without acknowledging Tohma's answer, he went to the fridge, got a can of beer and a piece of toast – breakfast.

"Eiri, are you going to Shuichi again?"

"What if I am?" Eiri said as he dressed his tux.

"You know you won't be getting anything from it."

"Shut up. What's that to you anyway?" He cleared himself up and tied his laces. Even his shoes were shined and his necktie, ironed. He was now quite angry with Tohma.

"You're just not making any sense."

"So what if I'm not?" He combed his hair.

"Eiri, you're being stupid. You should just quit. Shuichi won't come back, there's nothing you can do. He won't even care if you visit him, he's –" But he was cut off by Eiri.

"I'd rather be a stupid person for Shuichi than stay here and not even care," His insides were raging with pure anger and loathing. "How dare you even speak about him like that? You don't know him, you don't understand and you don't care! So stop acting like a bastard!"

Eiri got his keys, his new novel and banged the door, leaving Tohma inside. He badly wanted to hit Tohma hard but thought the better of it. He got inside his car and turned the engine on. As he was doing so, his player started playing.

"Shuichi's CD…" He said quietly.

The first song was Shining Collection, the song in which the lyrics were written by him dedicated for Shuichi. It had been Shuichi's favorite song. He pressed the forward button until it reached 'In The Moonlight'. He began to drive. He remembered the Tokyo Bay Festival, the night when Shuichi sang it. Admittedly, it was a beautiful song, the lyrics were good and most of all, Shuichi sang it for him.

Soft tears started forming in his eyes. He never had the chance to tell Shuichi that the song was good enough, that he appreciated it. He had always been telling Shuichi that he had zero talent and that he should just quit. But Shuichi never did, and Eiri knew now that it must have been painful for Shuichi. He was always trying and working on making his lyrics good, giving all his best on it, making it acceptable just for Yuki. But Eiri never gave a damn, all he did was to trash everything that was important to Shuichi.

He pushed the repeat button just before the song ended. He wanted to hear that song, especially Shuichi's voice. It was now hard living in his new apartment without Shuichi. He was used to Shuichi's whining, his wailing, his crying, the way he would always complain about Yuki always working. Funny how he missed it. Eiri now realized how busy he had been. His world was constantly revolving around his laptop. It had been a long time since they both went out. He could still remember how happy Shuichi was that day. Now he missed his smile, his laughter. He could no longer see and hear them.

He stopped just around the corner to buy flowers. He saw a big bouquet of roses on the way and bought them. He felt the petals as his hands accidentally brushed over them. 'Soft… just like Shuichi's hair…' He thought. He remembered the first time he held Shuichi. It was like holding an angel, pure, gentle, sweet. He wanted to hold him again, he wanted to feel that same warm feeling. He knew he'd be longing for him soon, and he regretted not having to hold him anymore. Why was he always busy with work? He never paid attention to anything other than his work, not even Shuichi. This was the first time he wished he never was an author. He wanted to bring back time, bring back every moment they had been together. But he knew he couldn't, it was just too late. He could never hold Shuichi again.

He stopped as his car finally reached Shuichi's home. He opened the gates and walked in. He saw Shuichi up on the hill. He was always standing there, arms open, wings spread wide. Eiri greeted him, "Hey"

He looked over at the stone in front of him. Beside it was an angel sculpture.

"I brought you roses."

He read Shuichi's name then looked back at the angel as if expecting an answer.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"

_Standing by my window, listening for your call _

Silence

"Won't you even say thank you?"

_Seems I really miss you after all _

"Baka Shuichi! I came all the way here and you won't even talk to me!" Eiri yelled.

_Time won't let me keep these sad thoughts to myself_

"Baka, baka, baka!"

_I'd just like to let you know, I wish I'd never let you go and,_

"Baka… Shu… I'm sorry…" Eiri knelt in front of the angel.

_I'll always love you, deep inside this heart of mine_"I'm sorry I made you leave"

A tear fell.

_I do love you _

"Shu… won't you please come back?"

_I'll always need you and if you ever change your mind_

"I… I didn't mean to hurt you…"

_I'll still, I will, love you._

"And… I forgot to tell you before… I liked your song…"

_Wish you'd never left me but love's a mystery_

"The lyrics were good…"

_You can break a heart so easily_

"Damnit Shuichi! Say something, anything!"

_The days and the nights reveal how much I feel for you_

"Aren't you happy I told you your lyrics were good? That was what you always wanted me to say right? Now I'm saying it! Please… say something…:"

_Time has come for me to see how much your love has meant to me._

"Shu… I… I need you back…"

_I'll always love you, deep inside this heart of mine_

"Please come home…"

_I do love you_

"I… I promise not to yell at you anymore. Or… or call you any more names. Just please come back home…"

_I'll always need you and if you ever change your mind_

"I'm sorry Shu, I'm sorry for the times when you would embrace me but I'd just walk away. I'll give anything just for me to have you back, just to feel you one more time."

_I'll still, I will, love you._

" Shu, I'm sorry I never showed you I care…"

_Time, like a river keeps on rolling right on by_

"I know I'm such an idiot to let you go like that. I'm sorry… If I could only run after you and chase you till I die, I would. I honestly would, Shuichi…"

_Seems like nothing's left for me_

"Why did you have to love me? You don't deserve me, I'm the worst you can find. And yet, you never stopped loving me."

_So I'll just watch the river rise_

"Sometimes I wish you never loved me. I don't care if I suffer for as long as you were happy. I knew you were never happy with me, but still you cared. And I'm sorry I never did anything to take away the pain that I was giving you."

_I'll always love you, and deep inside this heart of mine_

"I never meant for it to be like that, Shuichi. Please forgive me…"

_I do love you_

"I love you… Please say something…"

_I'll always need you and if you ever change your mind_

"I love you Shuichi…"

_I'll still, I will, I'll still, I will, love you..._

"I always will…"

Eiri hastily wiped his eyes, his face was full of tears and he couldn't stop them from falling. Whenever he'd remember Shuichi upset, it was like something was crushing his heart, tearing it into pieces. He regretted having to hurt Shuichi, he couldn't bear the pain he was feeling inside. He allowed himself to cry onto the angel's arms, it was the closest thing next to Shuichi. The only difference was that Shuichi was much more beautiful and much warmer. After a few minutes, he finally calmed his self down.

"It had been a long time since I cried, huh?," said Eiri, trying hard to smile.

"You must be laughing now. I hope I can see you."

Silence.

"Hey Shu, I'll change my request. I'll be the one coming to you."

Eiri breathed heavily.

"Look, I brought you a book. Read it while you're waiting for me. It's my last novel."

Sigh.

"I'll just be gone for 40 days, all I ask is for you to wait."

The wind blew, making the leaves rustle.

"Look inside, I placed our picture there. That's my last copy, aside from the one in my lighter. Remember that day? You were so happy then. I want to see that smile again…. I missed you, Shu…"

Smile. A sweet, truthful smile.

"I guess I'll be going. I still have a long way ahead of me. Just make sure you read it so you won't get bored."

Eiri turned around.

"I love you Shuichi… I really do…"

- 3 Days Later –

"Yes?" answered Tohma.

"It's me."

"Oh, hi Mika!" greeted Tohma cheerfully.

"The mass will be starting soon. Please come over immediately." Said Mika.

"Okay, wait for me. I'll be over in a while." Tohma's voice became a little firm.

"Okay."

Then they both hung up.

After a while, Tohma arrived exactly before the mass started. And now it was getting late, only Mika and Tohma were there.

"Is this where Eiri will be buried? " asked Tohma.

"Yes," answered Mika.

"This is where he wanted to, I'm sure. And, the police found this." And she handed the lighter to Tohma. Alongside the couple's picture were the words 'Beside you forever'.

"Eiri…" said Tohma quietly.

"And this book. I found it in the angel's hands, beside where Shuichi… is laid." She gave the book to Tohma, who read the writing in black ink.

My Dear Shuichi,

Thank you for the unending love you gave me. I'm very sorry for all the wrong things I've done.

I regret inflicting you so much pain. I am sorry for not having to care for you.

Sorry for letting other people hurt you and not protecting you.

I've only realized now that you're important to me and that I need you more than anything else in this world.

I've been stupid and blind that I didn't have the chance to tell you everything I wanted to say and to make you feel loved.

I hope you can forgive me for this. I want to let you know that I love you. Always and forever.

I regret not telling you that whenever you ask me to. I know it's too late now, but I won't give up.

I've let you go for far too long. I won't let that happen again.

Aishiteru, Shuichi.

Believe Me,

Yuki

--

Credits: Anne Murray for the song "I'll Always Love You"


End file.
